I generally make an honest attempt to stay away from people when I'm not in the greatest mood. I find it's best and will eliminate the need for any apologies in the future. This is my third attempt to come to you guys this evening and for the life of me, I couldn't understand why I was having difficulty expressing myself today. As I sat back and reflected on a few things, I now understand why:
I can't stand the motha fucka that is always pointing their finger at what you have or have not done. For instance, no wait....this is the shit that pissed me the fuck off today. My son is visiting family on his paternal side (his daddy's side) and without thinking that my feelings would be hurt. Devon (my baby) says to me "Grandma doesn't like the way you raised me!" Devon knows his momma and realized when there was nothing but silence from my end, that I was counting to ten before I spoke to him. He then said "ummm mom?" you there? I replied "yes baby I'm here, why don't you put your grandmammy on the phone?" Devon says "Mom, she just thinks I'm too mature for my age." I say "Understandable bay, put her on the phone!!" Devon quickly ended my call with "I love you Mom and I will talk to you later." My face was red and my hair was standing straight on my head, I was ready to jump through the phone, bypass Devon and kick some ass.
When my baby was born, I wanted him to have a much better life than I did, as all parents do. I didn't sugar coat shit for him and I told him what the deal was at a young age. If he asked, I used discernment and I told..straight talk. He is respectable of other people and is liked by many. His godmom used to worry that I put so much knowledge into his head that it would explode, well he survived. He also had to take on the role as the "man of the house" while I was working for the Corporate Devil and made sure the house was still standing when I returned home from work. I had to put him in this position at the young age of 9 unwillingly. Why? Because as a single-mom, we do a lot of shit that we don't want to do but have to do to keep things going. Now what pissed me off the most was that not at one time in Devon's life did his paternal side offer or accept the responsibility of helping out whether it was with time spent, holiday vacations, or even from the financial standpoint. My thought was.....we live in the "big city" with "big bad wolves" and such. Not the country easy life as his paternal folks do. I did the best I knew and I have no regrets. I'm proud of Devon and I have no regrets.
If by chance someone points their fingers at you, just remember this statement from My Granny.."When someone points their finger at you, pay attention to where their thumb is...it's pointing back at them!"